YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
