I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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