i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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