Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
