i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
