Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
