I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
