I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
