So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
