come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
