I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
