Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
