He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
