yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
