I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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