apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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