I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
