rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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