On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
