I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
