He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
