so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
