Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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