ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
