I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
sex in a hospital.. check
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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