Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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