she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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