I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
