i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize