does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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