Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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