i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
