can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
