Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
