You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
