I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
