But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
