I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
