What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
