Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
