Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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