i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
