i'm signing you up for texting rehab
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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