All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
