you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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