Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize