I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
