Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
