Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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