I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
