i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
