If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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