after a month anything with tits is on the radar
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
