dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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