take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
