The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
