its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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