If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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