do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
