god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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