i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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