Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
either way he was missing a nipple.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Randomize
