Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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