i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize