Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
